This latest section will provide deepish insight and improve understanding with regards to the role of Hegs protagonist……………
ASPIDISTERIA
Aspidisteria: Daughter of the Kiosk Magnate and beloved of I, but betrothed to none other the Solid King Solid Fume III! There’s no doubt that this is a marriage of connivance – her father the Kiosk Magnate is keen to cement his position of eminence in the upper stories of the Ugzcyk social anthill; and what better way to achieve that aim than to consent to the King’s request for Aspidisteria’s hand? Our hero learns of his missed chance while watching a documentary series in the smoking room of the Lone Icicle Bar…
“Continuing his esteemed review of architectural milestones, this week Professor Olduvai visits the home of renowned magnate, moose and muscleman…need I say more? However, contrary to all expectations of an audience with The Man Himself, our guide and narrator interviews his delightful, moon-faced daughter and heiress to his vast fortune, prospective queen and fishing hole favourite…Aspidisteria…This model Hal palace will be her wedding gift to her betrothed Solid King Solid Fume III…”
Aspidisteria: O yes, she likes poetry and the poet’s nimble tongue alright, but it seems he is nothing more to her than a mere dalliance. An amusement. She has her sights firmly set on the seat just to the left of the King’s in the throne room of Fume’s palace in Ugzcyk.
“Through the carnage on deck I spotted Aspidisteria standing at the prow, her locks flying wildly in the gale. She was casting sandbags into the waves port and starboard, shouting ‘Ballast! O! Ballast!’ It was then I knew I loved her.
‘We must find the captain! Only he can marry us now…’
‘A wedding! How lovely!’ she crooned, ‘But who is marrying whom?’
The Aspidisteria/ I issue comes to a head in a later super apocalyptic scene obscured by smoking fires in a torrential downpour in which I is denounced and all, including his own self, is lost…
“The sky blazed white, and then went black for a long moment. Fullalov’s voice echoed the crashes. ‘Behold the confession and confess I say thee confess! Confess! Argh!’ He yelped as the winchables gave up on the strain.
‘Don’t think we don’t know about you and your lewd designs on the future queen. You even dared to ask for her hand?’ Fume’s regal orb was whirring my way at 33 and a third, occasionally sticking a little. ‘You! You dared! You! You dared! You! You dared!’
Thus was I summarily arrested. Fullalov screeched my guilt continually, the Iglibrarian repeated ‘Yes, he’s the one!’ over and over, and I stood no chance..”
ASPIDISTERIA: Beautiful as a moon or a Des Gusto tune, but wild and ambitious and just totally adorable.
ASPIDISTERIA: Victim or ruthless schemer? A sacrifice to wanton avarice or a skilled artisan of malice?
ASPIDISTERIA: Will she kick him where if hurts, or will she get her just desserts?
For the answers to these and many other questions you must without let or hinderance get yourself a HOT COPY of The Reeking Hegs. This wonder of classically modern literature can be had from any Amazone outlet as a paperback, audiobook or ebook.
The Reeking Hegs 