Pete Peru and Lord Tupelo present; Select Hegbites!

Here you will be able to read select moments lifted from the pages of The Reeking Hegs. Prepare yourself!

Seighton’s the name – but just what is his game?

The angular jaw look cost me a pretty penny, let me tell ya!

Seighton is perhaps the only character to figure in almost every Canto of The Reeking Hegs (no sign of him in Canto 9), and is credited with being the narrator most of the time. Billed from the start as a private investigator, his negligible investigative powers are put to the test early on and then put to bed for the most part. Here, from the “Prequel” I offer exhibit#77 providing evidence for that extravagant, some might consider slanderous, claim:

I knelt over the stiffly sprawled corpse and picked up the tusk with some bar tongs. I sniffed the dregs…it had been poison, alright. The shrivelling odour of raw plate weed made me rush suspiciously out into the street. I offered several innocent bystanders a sip from the tusk, but all refused with vile imprecations on getting a whiff of the poison. That death-soaked stink was unmistakable…so, why had she taken the mortal swig? I couldn’t rule suicide out but suspected foul play.

As the story progresses we learn that detection is, at best, a sideline for Seighton. In reality he is driven by ambitions of an entirely different nature. For one, he fancies himself as a to be renowned poet. For another, he has his eagle eye fixed on the fortune of Aspidisteria, the daughter of the fabulously wealthy Kiosk Magnate. No spoilers permitted, so I will hold back from revealing if he manages to attain both the laureateship and the hand of the fair Aspid, gets one but not the other, or fails entirely and ends up as nothing more than the patsy.

Seighton fondly imagines his future as loaded son-in-law

Be all that as it may, Seighton devotes much time and energy to his main appointed task: to discover the whereabouts of The Reeking Hegs. It is his attempts to fulfil this purpose that lead him into one and another life-threatening situation variously situated on the Rictus Scale between levels 8. Instances of his teeth-skinning scrapes with the grim reaper are numerous – Mr.Yick, The Polar Bear, The King’s Thing all at one point or another show up in his vicinity with evil in tent. Not to mention the fact that he is put on trial for his very life (Canto 12).

Just get on with it!

Friends, there is a brain-twisting secret that Seighton has kept to himself through all this. A secret he guards until the very end is nigh and yay heaving over the horizon. I am not going to be the person forever maligned as he who spilled the beans, however. For the stinking mists to be lifted all you need is your very own copy of the 21st century’s most unparalleled literary roller-coaster: The Reeking Hegs – easily obtained from any Amazon;, Amazon UK, Amazon es…the list goes on but I feel sure you follow my drift. Just in case you have no clue as to that to which I refer, here’s an example of a link.

Roll up, roll up! Git yer copy here! Paperback, ebook and audiobook all going for a song in your heart!

An arctic hare with frozen whiskers hides between snow drifts. Is this a metaphor?

Until next time!

Published by peteperu

To find out more about me read The Reeking Hegs.

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