HEGBITS-Herr Erger: The merger man

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Herr Erger…yes, well, little can be said about the Herr given the almost total lack of information regarding his provenance or the man himself. He moves in the shadows – well, most of the time he stays behind one sort of screen or another. Yet, in spite of that, it is clear that the enigmatic Herr has played a large, some may consider crucial, role in the downfall of not only Atiqtalik but also Solid King Solid Fume III – among others.

Get a glimpse of Erger in the following excerpt from The Reeking Hegs in which a late night interview between Erger and “the narrator” takes place on a weir:

” I bemoaned my fate; obliged to double-crossly own future father-in-law, recently deceased. What sort of seat on the board was that likely to proffer? Even as I resolved to be free of Erger once and for all a flaming ray scorched across the wastes again, striking a smoking course over the horizon. Herr Erger, apparently oblivious to these heavenly portents, was hissing at me.

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“Ja ja! A tasty morsel car-up, nicht? Ze Hegs on a plate! Ve get FAT!”

“OK, I’ll do it!” I cried. “Have you the contract?”

“You mean you vill do it?” His shocked reply loin crippling.

“Yos. Yes, I mean. Bog clam you!”

“Zen zo be it!”

“Be it so.”

“Zen it’s.”

“Fat.”

Through a slit in the screen came the contract, dripping with wax. Herr Erger brushed his hairy strands across his head and then beckoned to aides unseen to carry him off in a screened sedan.”

Feel inclined to discover more?

Has the Heg-feveritch begun to bother the lowest regions of your cerebellum?

No problem! This epic celebration of high-english brought low is available in paperback, audiobook and Ebook format from the Amazon provider of your choice.

You know it makes sense!

Published by peteperu

To find out more about me read The Reeking Hegs.

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